What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
