his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
why do cheetos always look like penises
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
