C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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