a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
