I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
