then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
