Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
