I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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