Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
we're so committed to being not committed
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
