so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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