we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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