how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
