dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
