I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
