yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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