just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
