im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
No subtext here. People are naked.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
