She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
