question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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