You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You are the jesus of drinking
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
