his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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