Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize