He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
