Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize