I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
