tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
