Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Randomize
