I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
