I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
