You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
