So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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