I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize