Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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