Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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