Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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