you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
