oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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