I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
how does that bad decision feel?
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