His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
