i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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