I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I lost the right to judge tonight
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
