He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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