oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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