I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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