were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize