Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
