the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
