Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
