Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
