saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I look better un-naked...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
