Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
