I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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