Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
