ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
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