mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
