What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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