Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
