even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
